School Issues

My Child Is Cussing at School

 So you’ve gotten the dreaded call from school….

“I need you to come into the office, so we can talk about _____’s behavior.”

“We have a problem…”

Your child has gotten angry at another student and called that student an explicit name…

You are embarrassed—angry—humiliated—scared—frustrated—(____) about walking into that school! 

The use of cuss words today is common and is all around you.  Some people are very obnoxious about their expression through cuss words and others attempt to be respectful of others and choose to only cuss in situations they feel are acceptable.

Children learn new words daily and their vocabulary is growing rapidly.  This new vocabulary comes from parents, siblings, grandparents, peers, television, and the list goes on.  They are bombarded with new words daily.  Children do not usually understand what these new words are or what they mean.  They may use them when they are angry because they heard someone else say the same word in a fit of rage.

So how do you nip this in the bud if your child uses foul language to express himself?

1. Recognize where they are learning this from.

Are they hearing you talk this way?  If so, you may just want to rethink how you are expressing yourself in front of them as you are their primary teacher.  If your child belts out a “bad” word when he drops his ice cream on the floor and his response to you when you ask where he heard that from is “You said it”-be prepared for how you react to this.  If you yell at your child for using a word they are learning from you, then what are you really teaching them?  Instead, let him learn to admit when he’s wrong and correct his behavior by stating

“You’re right.  I did say that, but it was wrong and I shouldn’t use those words.  I’m going to do better.  I don’t want you using those words because they are not acceptable.”  Be honest and admit when you are wrong.

2. Monitor what they are listening to and watching.

If we do not guide their little eyes and ears, no one will.  The things they will learn will make lasting impressions, so give them guidance and ensure they are exposed to age appropriate television and music.

3. Do not laugh.

For some, hearing a child cuss seems funny and cute.  I assure you- a child cussing is far from cute, and laughing only encourages them to continue to do it.  It’s not so cute when you are getting phone calls from teachers because your child is calling them derogatory names or cussing out other students when they are angry.

4. Help them learn to express themselves with appropriate words to label how they feel.

“You are really angry.  Tell me what happened before you said ____________.” Help them find more appropriate ways to label the person they may be name calling.  “It hurt my feelings when……” “It made me angry when…..”.

5. Replace those bad words

Give them other options that will keep them out of trouble. Using funny words can also help to decrease the anger behind it.

6. Set boundaries with visitors.

If Uncle J comes over to watch the ball game, and he tends to get a filthy mouth when his team misses a play, then let him know in your house you would need him to watch his language.  Most people are receptive of this and if not, then you may need to be choosier about who is visiting with your children.

Remember that YOU are the primary example for your child and how they handle conflict and relationships.  Think about this for a minute…

 

*Comment below and share what you will start doing TODAY to be a better example. 

Talk to You Soon,

Dayna Sykes

Licensed Child & Teen Therapist

 

P.S. Share this post with a friend who needs help in this area!

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Open Enrollment for Empowering Teen Girls Group-Only 2 Spots Available!!!

I am opening enrollment for my Empowering Teen Girls Group, and there are only 2 Spots Available...So Hurry!!!

 

What group members have to say about group...

"Group give me inspiration."

"Group is encouraging."

"Group helps me stay grounded."

Help your teen navigate the ups and downs of growing up by enrolling her in Empowering Teen Girls Group today!

For more information about this group, click here, or email me at daynasykes@daynasykeslpc.com.

 

I look forward to hearing from you!

Dayna

Screen Time Linked to Inattention

Did you know that your child’s inability to focus on tasks may be due to their screen time?  Researchers are finding out that children who have unlimited screen time are struggling to focus at school and have difficulty following through on tasks.  Symptoms of too much screen time can look like a mental health disorder.  That means that some children are receiving a diagnosis for disorders like ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorders, Oppositional Defiance, etc----and the culprit is the SCREEN!!!

I myself can tell a huge difference in my own child when screen time is not limited.  Her grades start dropping, and her Math sheet looks like she chooses “1,2, skip a few”.  Her ability to tolerate small frustrations and her overall attitude changes.  That’s when I have to shape up in my parenting and set those limits.  We will stay away from that screen for several days as a “reset”.  Yes, even I struggle sometimes to keep those limits set.  When life gets busy and she gets away with it, she will definitely take advantage of that screen.

It’s scary to me that so many children and teens have unlimited access 24/7.  They are exposed to so much stimulation and not to mention the inappropriate things they accidentally see when there are no restrictions on screens.  So many negative consequences fall from unlimited and/or unrestricted screen time.

If you notice your child suddenly struggling with disorganization, restlessness, limited focus, and behavior changes, try a screen free zone for a while and see how quickly and how drastic they change.  Your child who seems like they are possessed by someone/something else will return to you.

Have you seen a positive change in your child when limiting screen time?

 

Dayna

What is Group?

I've been working hard to get the word out about my Empowering Teen Girls Group that starts April 12th.  Throughout this process, I am understanding that unless your teen has had some sort of experience that has led to intensive treatment, you and your teen may  not know what group is.

Parents who have teen who have experienced group have stated to me "my teen was in group when they were hospitalized and loved it".  Or "group really helped _____ when she was at an inpatient facility".  Group is often used in mental health inpatient facilities as a means to intensify the therapeutic process while undergoing observation and individual therapy.  But, group is not always meant to be intensive.

Group should also be used to meet needs in the community.  It can be a great supplement to meet individual needs of multiple people in the community.  Group is used to help multiple individuals address the same problem while feeling less alone in their efforts.  For instance, many parents may be feeling alone in their struggles with their teen or unsure of how to handle changes or to know what is normal versus what is a problem.  Group would be a place they could find support and encourage each other in their efforts.

The purpose of group is to be a supplement or alternative to individual therapy.  Group can be used with individual therapy as a place to practice skills or as a place to process life experiences.  It can also be used on its own (without individual therapy) as a place of support and connection to others who are experiencing similar things.  It can be a place to find empathy and understanding from peers who are going through similar phases in life.

The purpose of Empowering Teen Girls is to provide a safe place for your teen to connect with other teen girls who understand each other's problems.  A place where they can hear how other girls are dealing with and handling struggles while being guided to make healthy decisions to face these struggle.  A place where girls can learn together to take control of their lives and their emotions.  Girls will be able to see that they have been through similar circumstances and learn new healthy ways to cope with their circumstances.

Group is a place to gain inspiration from peers and to connect and empower each other to be strong and courageous against the many temptations they face.  It will be a place for them to bring the good and bad---discuss how they feel about it---and leave with a healthy solution or encouragement.

If your teen has seen a counselor or multiple counselors and you felt there was no progress, group may be a better alternative.  Or if your teen feels uncomfortable seeing a counselor, group may be the place where they can learn to share by listening and connecting with other teens.  Your teen may already be seeing an individual counselor, and group can be a way for them to practice and reinforce skills they are learning.

Group is not a place that unsafe behaviors will be discussed.  It is not a place to come and meet up with friends.  It is not a place to gossip. It is not a place where unhealthy decisions will be glorified or tolerated (drugs/alcohol, self-harm, sexual behavior, aggression, suicidal thoughts).

Group is a structured environment where you should feel safe and encouraged to be open and be you.

If you have questions about group or would like to schedule an intake for your teen to join group, contact me at daynasykes@daynasykeslpc.com or fill out the form on this page.

 

Have a Blessed Day!

Dayna

 

BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!!!

Keep a lookout for an awesome resource I am adding for parents to help with the stress of getting your kids Back To School!

I have reached out to parents and teachers to ask them what the Biggest Struggles are with Back to School!

I will be offering tips on making this transition Stress free and Drama Free!

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If you would like to make sure I address issues you need help with, then leave a comment below and I will try to include it in my offer!

Don’t forget to check back in a few days to get a chance to sign up for this opportunity to start the school year off Stress Free and Drama Free!

JUST IN TIME FOR BACK TO SCHOOL!!!

I am BURSTING AT THE SEAMS ready to share all these Back to School resources for Parents that I’ve been working on!  My wheels have been spinning and I have been writing and creating, writing and creating!  

Back To School

Writing and Creating here!

I will be providing tips on how to help Teen Anxiety.   Back to School resources for parents.  Tips on Parenting children.

I’m in the midst of getting a new website up and going.  We are in the draft stages now and time is ticking down until it is up and going.  I cannot wait!

This new website is going to open the doors for my ability to share more with you and to provide Parenting tips, Parenting Support, resources YOU need for YOUR Teens and Children!

Just a sneak peak at what I’ve been working on:

Free Routine Checklist!

My Top 5 Tips for Battling Anxiety

3-2-1 Approach to Take Control of Your Anxiety

5 Reasons Groups Rock!

…And my Back to School Series:

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Homework!

 

Don’t see what you are looking for?  Leave a comment with a Parenting Struggle you would like help with, and I will provide you with some resources.

 

 

 

P.S. I am in the beginning phase of marketing for Groups!

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Groups Now Open For Enrollment!

Groups Now Open For Enrollment:

Teen Girls Group (ages 15-17)

Life skills for Young Adults Group (ages 17-20)

Parent Coaching Group (Parents of Young Children)

If any of these groups sound appealing to you, call or email me for more information!

Can’t wait to hear from you!