Self Esteem

3 Reasons Your Teenage Daughter Should Join Group

Still not sure if group is right for your teenage daughter?  That's ok...  It's a big decision and a commitment.    Group offers so many advantages for growth.

1. It offers a place of positive support from peers who are going through the same stages your teen is experiencing.

They struggle with body image---bad attitudes about life---feel alone---won't talk to you---shy away from their friends---struggle at school---have a low self-esteem---struggle to set boundaries with others---make bad decisions--------------------I could go on...

2. They won't feel alone anymore in their problems.

Your teen may get involved and talk openly, or they may learn from hearing others' stories in the group, but one thing I do know is that they will not feel alone in their struggles.

3. They will learn to be confident in themselves.

Through the experience of group, they will learn how to take better care of themselves mentally and physically, which leads to lots of other healthy behaviors.

I hear teens and parents say:

"My daughter talks to me now!"

"I feel confident and inspired!"

"I was able to say no."

"She is happier and smiles more."

Join me in helping your teen find a healthier way to deal with life by enrolling in Empowering Teen Girls Group.

Are you ready to help her move forward?

Click here to find out how to enroll your daughter in group.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Dayna

P.S.

If you are holding back, what questions do you have?  Leave a comment below and let me know.

Open Enrollment for Empowering Teen Girls Group-Only 2 Spots Available!!!

I am opening enrollment for my Empowering Teen Girls Group, and there are only 2 Spots Available...So Hurry!!!

 

What group members have to say about group...

"Group give me inspiration."

"Group is encouraging."

"Group helps me stay grounded."

Help your teen navigate the ups and downs of growing up by enrolling her in Empowering Teen Girls Group today!

For more information about this group, click here, or email me at daynasykes@daynasykeslpc.com.

 

I look forward to hearing from you!

Dayna

What is Group?

I've been working hard to get the word out about my Empowering Teen Girls Group that starts April 12th.  Throughout this process, I am understanding that unless your teen has had some sort of experience that has led to intensive treatment, you and your teen may  not know what group is.

Parents who have teen who have experienced group have stated to me "my teen was in group when they were hospitalized and loved it".  Or "group really helped _____ when she was at an inpatient facility".  Group is often used in mental health inpatient facilities as a means to intensify the therapeutic process while undergoing observation and individual therapy.  But, group is not always meant to be intensive.

Group should also be used to meet needs in the community.  It can be a great supplement to meet individual needs of multiple people in the community.  Group is used to help multiple individuals address the same problem while feeling less alone in their efforts.  For instance, many parents may be feeling alone in their struggles with their teen or unsure of how to handle changes or to know what is normal versus what is a problem.  Group would be a place they could find support and encourage each other in their efforts.

The purpose of group is to be a supplement or alternative to individual therapy.  Group can be used with individual therapy as a place to practice skills or as a place to process life experiences.  It can also be used on its own (without individual therapy) as a place of support and connection to others who are experiencing similar things.  It can be a place to find empathy and understanding from peers who are going through similar phases in life.

The purpose of Empowering Teen Girls is to provide a safe place for your teen to connect with other teen girls who understand each other's problems.  A place where they can hear how other girls are dealing with and handling struggles while being guided to make healthy decisions to face these struggle.  A place where girls can learn together to take control of their lives and their emotions.  Girls will be able to see that they have been through similar circumstances and learn new healthy ways to cope with their circumstances.

Group is a place to gain inspiration from peers and to connect and empower each other to be strong and courageous against the many temptations they face.  It will be a place for them to bring the good and bad---discuss how they feel about it---and leave with a healthy solution or encouragement.

If your teen has seen a counselor or multiple counselors and you felt there was no progress, group may be a better alternative.  Or if your teen feels uncomfortable seeing a counselor, group may be the place where they can learn to share by listening and connecting with other teens.  Your teen may already be seeing an individual counselor, and group can be a way for them to practice and reinforce skills they are learning.

Group is not a place that unsafe behaviors will be discussed.  It is not a place to come and meet up with friends.  It is not a place to gossip. It is not a place where unhealthy decisions will be glorified or tolerated (drugs/alcohol, self-harm, sexual behavior, aggression, suicidal thoughts).

Group is a structured environment where you should feel safe and encouraged to be open and be you.

If you have questions about group or would like to schedule an intake for your teen to join group, contact me at daynasykes@daynasykeslpc.com or fill out the form on this page.

 

Have a Blessed Day!

Dayna

 

DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH SELF-ESTEEM?

This week we’re going to be talking about our children’s self esteem.  That can be a heavy subject! chains-1379468_640

I would like to know where you struggles with your own self esteem and when you think it began for you.  Our ability to see the good in ourselves begins in childhood and either grows or is stunted as we mature.  Our parents have a huge influence on what we think of ourselves and how much confidence we have in our ability to Be or Do great things.

When you think about self-esteem, you often get an image of someone in your mind that you know…  Who are you picturing right now?  Maybe they have a negative view of their body, they have zero confidence and are really shy, or maybe they never socialize for fear of embarrassment. And on the other side of that, you know people who seem to have a very strong confidence in themselves that seems arrogant and cocky.  I bet you’re picturing someone else you know!

Where is the healthy middle?

Stop and Think—

Set your timer for 1 minute and write down as many positive things about yourself that you believe are good qualities.

Now…how many did you come up with?  If you struggled with this, why did you struggle?

We will talk more throughout the week about how to combat this thing called self esteem and how to set our children up for success in this area.

Please share your experience in the comments and tell me where you struggle with your own self esteem.  Do you know when this struggle began?

NURTURING SELF-ESTEEM IN CHILDREN

Last post I asked you to write down as many positive things about yourself you can think of in 1 minute.  I bet some of you struggled with this…if not great!  You might not need to read about self-esteem.  However, the flip side is I bet you can come up with double or more negative thoughts about yourself in less than a minute.  Right?  And the sad part is that we tell ourselves these negative things all day every day.  We “bully” ourselves!

Kids do the same thing!  “I’m so ugly…I’m fat…I’m stupid…No one likes me at this school…I can’t do anything right…I never do the right thing…I’m going to fail this test/class/grade…no one is going to pick me to be on their team…my parents hate me…I have no friends…” The list goes on.  Now add to those negative thoughts negative perceptions.  

Here’s an example: (I will use a personal experience with you based on my own child who I will call B.)

Me: How did your test go today?

B: I made an 67.

Now I could say: What?!  But you studied so hard!  How could you fail?!  

(My child is a perfectionist, and he always wants to be the best.  If I had said that, he would have burst into tears.) Instead, I try to keep his personality in mind and I respond like this:

Me: Wow that stinks…What do you think you missed?

B: I don’t know, it was really hard.  I’m just no good at math!  I hate it!

Me: It was a hard test, I’m sure you will do better next time.  We can look over it later and see if you understand what you missed for next time.  

Now, this child of mine can go right into negativity if I’m not super careful how I deal with him.  He tends to be very down on himself and expects me to feel the same way when I clearly can see his struggles; but I also see all the great things about him too.

Let’s take another not so great example that’s pretty common:

Mom: (screaming) I told you to clean up your room!!!

Child: I can’t, it’s too much.

Mom: You can’t do anything!!!  You never listen!!!  I’m so sick of this!  I’m going to beat your ________ (fill in the blank)!  

Ever been where this mom is?  Here is what her child with low self esteem might have heard…

“I never do anything good enough.  My mom is mad and doesn’t understand.  She doesn’t like me.  She’s tired of me.  I don’t belong here.  No one cares about me.  I hate it here.”fail-1288346_640

All of us lose our cool at times when we are parenting because well parenting is hard work, and it’s a learning experience.  A lot of times though, we don’t realize the true impact our words have on our children.  Let’s build our kids up, not tear them down.  I’ve heard kids being called stupid, idiots, dumb, fat, chubby, not as pretty as …., annoying, not like here brother/sister, mean, bad even.  Think about what this does to their self esteem and confidence….this becomes their inner dialogue.  This inner dialogue becomes their bully. If you have a child in your home who has experienced abuse, trauma, separation from another parent, then that negativity multiplies because of their perception.

We can set our children up with a healthy self-esteem by nurturing them, talking out issues, allowing them to tell you what the struggle is and problem solving how to fix it or improve.  We don’t need to point out every little thing that is wrong about their situation because they probably already know.

Think about your conversations with your children….Do you need to alter them a bit?  Are your words setting them up for future success?  Are you building them up to be successful or tearing them apart?

IMPROVING YOUR LIFE

This year I vowed to improve my health on many levels. Last year I had a bit of a scare and had some tests run leading to acquire a diagnosis of Meniere’s Disease.  Thankfully it’s not as bad as my mind was leading me to fear.  It is something I can live with and make sure I’m taking care of my body so I don’t have to deal with it often.  I have been a little worried about food we eat for a while, and I can often get on a soapbox over nutrition while discussing it with people.  However, I continued on the same path.  Well, all that has changed this year. January 5th I began a lifestyle change.  I read “It Starts with Food” by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig.

Although I already knew what we consider food in this country is equal to pure junk for our bodies.  We might as well eat trash.  Most of what we consume is not natural.  I won’t get into the nuts and bolts of it.  I will just say, if this has ever been your worry read about it and make a change.

I began the Whole30 program on January 5th along with a crossfit program called HIIT that I do at home on my own.  You can read about it here.  I thought I was pretty fit prior to this, as I ran regularly.  However, there were still areas I wasn’t seeing change in.  And one thing I’ve struggled with for a while is feeling exhausted from the time I would get up until bedtime.  I’ve never been a good sleeper, especially after having kids.  I knew something had to be wrong because at 34, I still should feel pretty young.  Plus my bloodsugar has been all kinds of crazy this past year due to my hypoglycemia issues.

I’m on Day 21 right now!  I feel wonderful!  I’m committed to this change and I’m not stopping.  If you need a boost in your life and feel you have a poor relationship with food and your body, I encourage you to make a commitment to yourself.  God only gives us one physical body that has to last us our lifetime.  Shouldn’t we want only the best for it?

I will spend the next few weeks sharing my success with you as I count down to the last 9 days of my Whole30 and the beginning of my new life.  I hope to encourage you with my story of transformation!