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7 Fun Fall Activities

7 Fun Fall Activities

It's so important to create traditions in your family, and it's most important to have some FUN with your family!

Fun = Money

Everyone automatically goes to "We can't afford...."

Please get that thought out of your head!

Here are some FUN Fall activities your family can do for little or no cost...

Play in the Leaves!

This was a favorite of mine when growing up, and you rarely see kids doing this today.

***If you kid has allergies, this may not be a great idea***

***Also be aware of any dogs leaving surprises in your yard***

Does anyone even own a rake anymore???

Build a Fire and Roast Hotdogs and Marshmallows!

Smores are one of the BEST desserts out there, and they are SUPER EASY!!!

***Please supervise your children  around fires and ensure your fire is put out***

Camp Out in Your Yard!

This could be lots of fun without having to leave your house...

If you don't own a tent, lay some blankets out and look at the stars for a while. I believe this is one we will do while we enjoy our week off.

Hayrides!

There are all kinds of functions going on this October as we near Halloween.  Hayrides are one of those.  If you live on a farm, you could easily throw your own hayride and invite your children's friends over for a night of fun!

Hide and Seek (in the dark)

This can be a lot of fun as the nights are getting shorter.

Go for a Hike

Go to a local park and hike for free, or if you live on a farm (like me), you can just walk around your own property and enjoy nature.

Carve Pumpkins!

This is usually a tradition in our family every year around Halloween.  Sticking your hands in the gooey insides of that pumpkin and creating faces for parents to carve out.  Fun!  (My mom used to roast the pumpkin seeds...but not my thing!)

No matter what you do, Do Something together!  

Leave a comment and tell me 1 Fun Activity you will be doing with your family this Fall!

Happy Fall Yall!

Dayna Sykes

Licensed Child & Teen Therapist

P.S. Enrollment for my Teen Girls Group will be closing next week.  Only 3 Spots left!  Sign up here.  

Avoidance Causes You To Miss Out!

Do you ever avoid situations or people because it’s too stressful or painful to be in that experience? Avoidance is a natural human defense mechanism, but sometimes it can be detrimental to our own growth and happiness.  

Today, I was walking through our freshly cut hay-field to get a message to my husband and father-in-law.  While talking to a family friend who was present, I said “I love the smell of fresh cut hay, but it does not love me.”  I knew for even the maybe 5 minutes I was standing there, I was going to have some discomfort. As I walked away, I noticed itching in my legs.  Then while driving away, I could feel a little discomfort in my breathing.

You see, I am a very allergic person.  But I live in the country where I am exposed to all things I am allergic too.  Now, I could move (but I’m pretty sure I’d have to leave my husband behind), but staying here is more beneficial to me than avoiding.  

 

Not to mention how BEAUTIFUL it is where I live!  

So what is an allergic country girl to do?

Be Aware…

If you know situations cause you discomfort (maybe it’s not an allergy but more depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress, panic), be aware of those triggers.  I am aware of what triggers my allergies and am prepared for the consequences of being around them.

Find the Win…

For me, I was able to see God’s beauty in this hayfield.  I took a beautiful picture of it. Being outdoors is so inspiring and calming to me.  It’s worth it to have the experience!

Have a Plan…

So let’s say you are going to be around family that triggers your depression or anxiety…  If it’s not an unhealthy relationship, and you want a connection with that person, then have a plan of how you will combat the negative reactions your body will likely experience.  

  • Know your limits and have a plan of escape.  

When I am around certain people from my past who tend to cause difficulty for me, I make sure I visit them instead of them visiting me.  This way I can leave when I’m ready instead of having them in my home wishing they would leave already and not wanting to ask them to leave.  

If your reaction is anxiety or panic, make sure you have a go-to method for calming your body and mind.  

Sometimes avoidance is good when it’s too overwhelming for you to manage.  But just remember, avoidance can become a very unhealthy way to cope, and you will miss out on some great life experiences and connections.  

Need some assistance in creating your plan?

Click Here to Download a Free Worksheet!

Then, comment below and share with me how avoidance affects your life!  

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Dayna Sykes

Licensed Child & Teen Therapist

Gordonsville Counseling & Play Therapy

 

P.S.  If you have a teen girl who struggles with avoidance and you’ve tried everything to help her break out of this, then Empowering Teen Girls Group may be just what she needs to build her confidence, boost her ability to cope with difficult situations, and learn to connect with others in the process.  

P.P.S  Do you tend to walk on eggshells around your teen and avoid her throughout the day?   Every effort you make causes her to lash out and become angry. Sign up for my free email course, “Learn to Connect Better with Your Teen”, and get 5 days of action steps you can take to better support and connect with your teen.  Just Click Here!

 

100 Ways to Cope with Stress and A Story On Self-Care

     The more you practice self-care and the better you take care of yourself on a daily basis, the more natural it becomes.  I've had one of the worst weeks in a long time in my life.  My father-in-law had a very serious accident with a chainsaw that could've been the end of all for him.  By the grace of God, he is healing and rehabilitating very well for an 81 year old man.  Through all of this, I have learned that my support system is bigger than I could've ever imagined, and now a week out I see that I have taken care of myself during this journey better than I may have in the past.

"If you practice self-care daily when you aren't facing tremendous stress, you will turn to healthy habits when you do hit a stressful period."

In the past, I may have comforted myself with junk food and quit taking care of myself and only focused on the stressor.  And even though I still struggled to find time to sleep or eat, I did realize I wasn't stuffing my face with junk and I WAS praying frequently and taking lots of deep breaths.  This week, we are traveling for my son's ball team, and I am finding myself seeking quiet spots to de-stress from last week.  I've kept my Bible close.  I have made time to run (my most effective tool to cope with stress).  I am continuing to fill my body with healthy choices, and I've found time to read leisurely.  These are my favorite ways to provide my own self-care, and the view in the mountains helps tremendously!

I encourage my clients to practice daily self-care.  Practice makes perfect right?  Well......practice doesn't really make perfect, but it does make it more natural and creates habit.  If you practice self-care daily when you aren't facing tremendous stress, you will turn to healthy habits when you do hit a stressful period.

"The more you practice self-care and the better you take care of yourself on a daily basis, the more natural it becomes. "

Let's face it, life happens!  It happens to us all, even me.  Difficult struggles do not discriminate.  Be prepared.  Practice your daily self-care.

Click here to sign up for a FREE list of 100 Coping Skills and let me know in the comments which skills you find most helpful.

Dayna

What Coping Skills Are and What They Are Not

Today we talked about Coping Skills in my Empowering Teen Girls Group and I wanted to share with you some ideas about what Coping Skills are and what they are NOT. You can watch the video here.

 

I think people get confused when someone asks them about Coping Skills.

I am  going to talk a minute about what coping skills are and what they are not.

 

Image result for eye rolling emojiBecause I often get this eye roll or people just shut down and say "It doesn't work".  This happens across the board.  Children-Teens-Adults alike.

So what are coping skills?

These are skills you use to help yourself be in control.  They can be calming like a bubble bath- a walk- or soft music.  Or they can be uplifting like your favorite song to sing to loudly in the car (one of my favorite things to do after a long hard day) or being creative with paint or drawing-hanging out with friends and socializing.

Coping skills should be Healthy Activities you enjoy that you can kind of lose yourself in the moment.

What coping skills are not---

They are not a one time fix all solution.  They are not a magic pill to take away all your problems.  They won't do anything to take away your problem!  You still will have to deal with whatever is causing your stress at some point, but coping skills help you manage your emotions and actions around that stress.

I hope this makes sense and helps you understand the importance of having  coping skills.  I will jump back on here next week to give you an example of how I use coping skills to manage stress in my own life.  Because guess what, I need them too!

 

If you want more information about coping skills, you can visit my website by clicking on the link in this post.  Have a great day!

Empowering Teen Girls Group Starts in April

Empowering Teen Girls Group will start April 12th! I am so excited to get this group running.  The group will initially run for 8 weeks, and if it is successful, it will continue to be an ongoing group.

This group will target girls 13 and up.

Your teen is a good fit for this group if she...

Struggles to manage her emotions

Has difficulty maintaining healthy friendships

Loses control in the moment

Avoids communicating with you

Seems unhappy and down about life

Groups is a great way for teens to see they are not alone and how others share in the same struggles.  It is a place where girls can learn from each other in a safe and healthy environment, free of judgement.

To enroll your teen, contact daynasykes@daynasykeslpc.com or call 615-683-1111.  Intake is required for pre-enrollment.

Excited to get started!

Dayna

I'm a Failure

So I've really had a come to Jesus moment right smack in the face Very Recently.  I don't usually share about myself, but I think the best way to help others sometimes is to show that even I struggle with life sometimes.

For some reason, when people hear I am a therapist, they get this notion that I have it all together and all figured out and that everything is easy for me and my family.  I don't know where people get that idea that therapists are perfect.  The only perfect being I know of was Jesus, and I surely am not Jesus.

I want you to know the ugly truth...

I fail at things.  Sometimes I fail HARD.  I fail at taking care of myself.  I fail at parenting.  I fail at marriage.  I fail at friendships.  I even fail at work.  And that's OK!  Because I'm allowed to fail.

#1- I am human. 

#2- I AM NOT JESUS.

#3- Failure leads to all the good stuff 

 

GROWTH---STRENGTH---COURAGE---PEACE---BLESSINGS---ACCEPTANCE

 

The last couple of years, I have had some weird health issues pop up.  And while some are not common, others are becoming more common in people my age.  Why?  Because we live in a world of constant activity and business.  It's all relevant to self-care.  I am an advocate to others in terms of self-care.  I would like to think my practice is around empowering women, teens, and children to care for themselves.  It's not just about listening for me.  It's about knowing when you leave my office, you have a way to be gentler on yourself and healthier.

 

 

 

 

However, I have been failing at taking care of my own self.  I got so wrapped up in things I wanted to do and began spiraling into a puddle of self-doubt as health issues arrived.  My body has been telling me to slow down, and it has been trying to signal to me that I'm forgetting the most important thing.  Me.  I quit running consistently, quit eating clean, gained weight, lost progress I had made and all the while ran myself down trying to do too many things and overthinking every step I took.  My parenting became lazy, my marriage became a little distant, and my house was missing attention.

 

But all it takes is a new day, a new sunrise and me saying I'm done with how things are going.  It's time to put myself first again.

Do you ever find yourself losing this battle?  I know you do, unless you are Jesus...  Life is a marathon, not a sprint.  There are hurdles and injuries and struggles to make it to your goal.  But it is so worth it.  If you find yourself in a losing battle right now, all I have to say is Learn from it, Forgive Yourself, and Move Forward because every day is a new day.

And remember:

 

 

#1- I am Human!

#2- I am not Jesus!

 

#3- Failure leads to all the good stuff! 

 

I am going to spend some time focusing on self-care and invite you to join me.  Let me know in the comments where you are in your marathon of life.  Are you struggling right now?  Maybe I can help coach you along.

Blessings,

Dayna

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

It’s Valentine’s Day!  For many this day gets blown way out of proportion and you set really high expectations for your spouse.  You may end up making it a day of frustration and resentment.

Vow to make this day about love and appreciation.  Sure, receiving a dozen roses is nice, but that $100 plus could be better spent right?  Think about the small things you can do for each other to show appreciation.

If you tend to feel frustrated when you see others bragging about their gifts, then take a day off from social media.  There’s nothing worse than agreeing to spend time together and harboring jealousy and resentment because you feel like you aren’t loved because your husband didn’t surprise you with flowers, chocolates, and a massage while you were at work.  Keep in mind that over the top gift giving does not equal a good marriage.  For some couples, Valentine's Day is the only day they show love.  How sad...

Remember that every day is a day to show your love to your spouse.  Valentine’s Day is a day to rekindle your love for one another.

A few simple gifts to avoid the pressure of perfection:

-Make your spouse’s favorite dinner.

-Leave sticky notes around the house for them thanking them for things they bring to the family.

-Put the kids to bed early and spend time watching a movie or your favorite series.

-Sit together on the couch and talk.

-Make a special dessert.

-Write a note highlighting the many reasons you love them.

-Create a playlist of songs you both love and listen to it together.

-Do something on their to-do list for them.

-Give your spouse some alone time (without interruption).

-Draw a bubble bath for your spouse and offer a drink and soft music.

-Go to bed at the same time and spend time talking and connecting.

-Send romantic texts throughout the day letting them know you are thinking about them.

Think about the things that make your spouse feel loved and do something for them that you know will leave them feeling loved and appreciated.  It’s not about expensive and outrageous gift giving.  It’s about your relationship with one another.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Tis the Season to be Jolly, Joyful, and to ROCK MidTerms!!!!

Tis the Season to be Jolly, Joyful, and to ROCK those Midterms!!! Don't forget to help your kids (5th grade and up) study for their exams. For our local schools, midterms are beginning. The best way to beat test anxiety is to BE PREPARED!

For College Students, give them a call to celebrate finishing up Finals!  They could use the encouragement, trust me.

Blessings,

Dayna

Top 5 Ways to Motivate Your Teen

Top 5 Incentives for Motivating Your Teen

After years of working with teens and parents, I'm hearing the same story repeat itself within each family...

"How do I motivate my teen?"

"Help!  "I can't get my teen to do anything."

"My teen won't help around the house."

"My teen refuses to study or apply herself at school."

"My teen never follows through!"

You feel like you have no control and you are constantly offering empty threats or endless encouragement that doesn't seem to work.

That's why I've decided to create this Top 5 List of Incentives That Will Motivate Your Teen.  Things that we often forget about.  

First let me start out by explaining what an Incentive is...

An incentive is something you add to increase motivation.  And let's be honest, we all need incentives.  An incentive is not a "bribe", which I hear parents frequently complain that they don't want to feel they have to bribe their teens to do anything.  And an incentive Does Not have to cost you money!

Let's  be real!  For us, an incentive to clean the kitchen every night is that we get up in the morning and have a fresh counter to work on.  Our incentive for cleaning the toilet is that we don't have to worry when we have unexpected guests come in and use our bathrooms.  An incentive for getting up and going to work everyday is that we take home a paycheck.

Teens need incentives too, and they are going to be different from me and you because let's face it, they are not adults so they don't think the same way.

So without further delay, here are my Top 5 Incentives for Motivating Your Teen:

1. Device Privileges

Does your teen get unlimited usage on their/your device?  Why?  Who pays for this service? You do right?!  Limit your teens device usage based on the amount of motivation they have to accomplish assigned tasks.  If they are not doing homework, why do they get free reign to text their friends or surf social media?  Besides, this is often what they are spending time doing vs. doing the tasks you have assigned.  Did they refuse to clean the kitchen?  Well then you refuse to supply their network to their friends.

2. Remove Netflix

How much time is your teen spending binge watching their favorite tv series or movie?  I'd say that removing this distraction would certainly free up some time to let's say do some studying or vacuum the living room.  Right?

3. Friend Time

Teens love to hang out with other teens.  Whether it be in the community or setting up camp in each other's homes binge-watching Netflix while eating up all the food in your house.  Let me remind you that this is a PRIVILEGE, not a necessity.  Limit your teens time with friends when they are not following through with your expectations.

4. Car Privileges

This one is a big one!  Guess what-?!  You do not have to provide your teen with a vehicle, gas money, or a ride if they are not doing their fair share around the house or if they are slacking off at school.  Set an expectation they have to meet in order to receive this privilege.

5. Alone Time

While some alone time is healthy for a teen and privacy is important, this is also one of those privileges you earn.  If your teen is not following through, then their attempts to ignore the family and hideout in their rooms should be stopped.  If the family is pitching in on Saturday to clean up the yard, your teen should not get a free pass to hang out in their room and text friends.  There are lots of ways to solve this solution, and if you need some creative help, let me know.

Is there something more specific you are struggling with?  Comment below and let me know what it is.  I am always looking for ways to create content specific to you.

So there you have it!

P.S. Click Here to receive a free mindfulness activity to help your teen cope with overwhelming emotions.

 

BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!!!

Keep a lookout for an awesome resource I am adding for parents to help with the stress of getting your kids Back To School!

I have reached out to parents and teachers to ask them what the Biggest Struggles are with Back to School!

I will be offering tips on making this transition Stress free and Drama Free!

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If you would like to make sure I address issues you need help with, then leave a comment below and I will try to include it in my offer!

Don’t forget to check back in a few days to get a chance to sign up for this opportunity to start the school year off Stress Free and Drama Free!

3 SIMPLE STEPS FOR A STRESS FREE MORNING

Back to School Morning Routines

So here it is!!!  Resources to take the stress out of this Back To School season!  For some of us, the season has begun and for those few lucky ones, you are right on the brink of start days.  Here are 3 Simple Steps to get your mornings flowing without the stress!

1. Do as much as you can the night before!

  •  Look at folders and sign forms as soon as you get home!!!!
  • Kids need to empty Lunchboxes and refill water bottles for tomorrow.
  • Have a set time for homework!!!! I cannot stress this one enough. (Do this ASAP to avoid the fight…look for future info on trouble shooting homework) book-15584_1280
  • Pack that backpack up and hang it or sit it by your exit. Older kids can do this without help!
  • Showers before bed—we like to do this while mom is cooking supper.
  • Send kids to lay out clothes and shoes—hair bows—earrings—socks— (trust me on the socks!)
  • Check the lunch calendar for the next day-mine hangs on the refrigerator for easy access.

1. Did you send lunch money this week? If not, then do this now. 2. Have your kids pack their lunch boxes- all you have to do in the morning is add a cold drink and a sandwich if you don’t like soggy.

child-666137_6402. Get in Bed On Time! Sleep is important!! Children need 10-12 hours of sleep for healthy brain development and growth.

  • Take a few minutes to connect with your child.
  • Help!  My child won’t sleep! (post about this coming soon)
  • Go to bed!

Bedtime is a great time for connecting with kids. This is often the time they are ready to share thoughts/worries/concerns/exciting moments of their day…Keep the lights off and snuggle up or sit on their bed for a few minutes. *Warning* This is not a time for disciplining or lectures…just listening!

Sleep is important for you too! Go to bed early enough to get 7-8 hours of sleep.

*Unless you have a baby this is doable*

3. Rise Early!alarm-clock-2132276_640

  • Please do not let your children be the ones to wake you for school! They need guidance! Get up early enough to be prepared for whatever the morning may throw at you—a child who can’t seem to wake up—a belly ache that sends them running to the bathroom—a child refusing to get ready—I could go on and on here. Get up and get ready before you have to wake them.
  • Wake them up at a set time each day! Do it in a way that sets the tone for the day. No yelling or screaming. Please do not pour water on their heads… Wake them in plenty of time to do their own morning routine. Yes they will need a routine too.
  • Eat Breakfast! Make sure to feed your child or get them to school early enough for Breakfast. A child cannot concentrate on school work with a growling tummy and they are more likely to get in trouble due to distraction of hunger.
  • Grab backpacks (These should already be packed waiting by the door.) and head out the door!
  • If your child is a car rider…Make sure there is time to walk your child in without hurrying them (if needed). You will be glad you got up early and got yourself ready before you left.
  • Send them off with a hug, kiss, and “I love YOU!”

Remember Rome was not built in a day, and your routine will take some time to get used to.

Make this routine YOURS each day and your stress will be gone! If you need support, comment below so I can help you trouble shoot your routine. Remember Rome was not built in a day, and your routine will take some time to get used to. Don’t make these simple steps Hard! If you are struggling overall with parenting, call me today to talk about Parent Coaching at 615-683-1111.

JUST IN TIME FOR BACK TO SCHOOL!!!

I am BURSTING AT THE SEAMS ready to share all these Back to School resources for Parents that I’ve been working on!  My wheels have been spinning and I have been writing and creating, writing and creating!  

Back To School

Writing and Creating here!

I will be providing tips on how to help Teen Anxiety.   Back to School resources for parents.  Tips on Parenting children.

I’m in the midst of getting a new website up and going.  We are in the draft stages now and time is ticking down until it is up and going.  I cannot wait!

This new website is going to open the doors for my ability to share more with you and to provide Parenting tips, Parenting Support, resources YOU need for YOUR Teens and Children!

Just a sneak peak at what I’ve been working on:

Free Routine Checklist!

My Top 5 Tips for Battling Anxiety

3-2-1 Approach to Take Control of Your Anxiety

5 Reasons Groups Rock!

…And my Back to School Series:

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Homework!

 

Don’t see what you are looking for?  Leave a comment with a Parenting Struggle you would like help with, and I will provide you with some resources.

 

 

 

P.S. I am in the beginning phase of marketing for Groups!

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Groups Now Open For Enrollment!

Groups Now Open For Enrollment:

Teen Girls Group (ages 15-17)

Life skills for Young Adults Group (ages 17-20)

Parent Coaching Group (Parents of Young Children)

If any of these groups sound appealing to you, call or email me for more information!

Can’t wait to hear from you!

3 WAYS TO GET YOUR TEEN TO TALK TO YOU

 So many times I hear parents say to me “She won’t talk to me!”  or “He stays in his room on his phone.”  The frustration in your tone is heard.  I can feel the pain you are sharing with me.  I want you to know that teens not talking to parents is a normal stage in development, but it doesn’t have to be this way all the time.

“She won’t talk to me….”

Do you wish your teen would tell you what is on her mind?  Do you wish your son would come to you when he has a problem?

I’m going to show you 3 ways to get your teen to talk to you!  Yes!!!  You heard me right….TALK to YOU.  And the best part about it is that they are pretty simple things to do.

So are You ready to do this?

Here it is:

  1. Listen to them

Listen to your Teen!  I’m going to share with you what your parents, grandparents, mentors, and teachers have always told you that stands true with your teens.  You listen with your ears, not your mouth.  Wow!  Aren’t those words of wisdom?  Listen to your teens.  And when you listen—HEAR them!

So what does not listening look like?  Let me give you some case examples:

“That’s the stupidest idea you’ve ever had!  Why would you do that???”

“I don’t care what your excuse is, your curfew is 10:00!!!  No excuses!”

“You did what???”

“I trusted you and…..”

Or….”when I was your age….”

“Why would you want to …..”

Sound familiar?  When your teen decides to come to you with a problem, and you immediately shut them down with a lecture, discipline, or shaming their choices; I guarantee you they WILL shut down.

“Listen with your ears, not your mouth!”

Don’t interrupt them with these parent moments!  Don’t ruin a wonderful opportunity of talking with your teen because you impulsively must have a parent moment.  You both know you are the parent!  Just push pause on “parent mode” for a few minutes and hear them out and don’t interrupt them.  You have plenty of time to parent after the conversation ends.

  1. Trust them.

    trust your teen

    Trust your teen

You have worked for years on teaching this child right from wrong.  They know when they make mistakes.  They know when they are going to be punished.  They know when you are going to be disappointed in them.  Knowing all of this and still coming to you is the ultimate respect in a parent/child relationship.  When your teen feels comfortable saying “Mom, I really messed up.  Can we talk?”  then you know you can trust your child with just about anything.  I know some of you are saying— “like that would ever happen!”  I see your eyes rolling far back in your head!  But it does happen!  There are families who have open communication with their teen.

You can too!

If your teen avoids you when they make mistakes, ask yourself why?  I know the 1st response is probably “Because they know they are in trouble!”  But I bet if I asked your teen, it would be “They don’t listen. (1)” or “They don’t understand.” (Boy I hear that one A LOT!)  LOL!

“Be honest with yourself.  Would teenage you want to talk to you?”

Be honest with yourself.  If you look back on your reactions toward your teen when they do something dumb AGAIN, would you come talk to you?  Do you yell at them?  Do you berate them and belittle them?  Do you point out how stupid they are?  How often do you go to people who treat you like that?  Think about that one for a little while, and then come back and read on…

  1. Stop Assuming

Talk through a problem with them.  Stop assuming they need you to tell them how to handle things. Don’t tell them how to fix it unless they point blank ask you for advice.  Listening and trusting them shows you have confidence in them.  Stop assuming they need you to fix all their problems or that they even want that.

Questions to Ask you Teen:

How do you feel about what Abby did?

What do you think you should do about …?

What kind of consequence do you think a late curfew deserves?

How do you feel about your friends drinking?

By asking open ended questions, you are inviting them to talk to you and teaching them that growing into an adult means making good decisions and you are giving them confidence in knowing they CAN make good decisions rather than assuming they Won’t Do the Right Thing. You are letting them share what they think and how they feel about situations.  You are learning that your teen has a good head on their shoulders and can choose the right path.

“Listen…Trust…Stop Assuming”

Most teenagers are going to be fair in their responses.  Now I know there are a few out there that would take advantage of this, but I’ve seen parents look totally shocked when we’ve had these open discussions in sessions and their teen Adults Up!  They assume they know what they would say, but they quickly have to pick their chin up off the floor when this Teen rocks their decision-making skills.

So that’s it!  Listen, Trust, and Stop Assuming. Pretty simple!  If you don’t make it hard.  Your relationship with your teen does not always have to be filled with drama, yelling, fighting, tears, and feelings of doubt.  You can Talk!  You can have a good relationship!  It really does happen for a lot of families.

If you do these 3 things, it allows your teen to trust you and to develop respect for you as their parent.  They will know that no matter what, my mom or dad is going to respect me and love me.

Now go and put this into action!  Then come back here and leave a comment and let me know how it went.  If you struggle, that’s OK.  I’m here to help!  Maybe you feel like your relationship is too far gone and you feel like there is too much damage done.  Damage can be fixed!  At no point in parenting is it too late.  Change can happen at any stage and age.  This doesn't mean change is going to be easy, but the longer you let it go the harder it will become.

Need more specific examples of scripts to use when communicating with your teen?

Comment below with your biggest challenge in communicating with your teen.

P.S. Teen Girls Group will be starting November 9th!  If you would like more information, click here.

MUSIC IS THERAPY

Sometimes a song can come on the radio and I can feel it through my soul. It reaches every fiber of my being. Music can speak to you. It can empower you-give you strength-confidence-even closure.

The lyrics of a song can feel alive and breathing. Music has been around since creation. It’s a natural source of relaxation and calm. It’s a way to express our feelings. Songwriters pour out their lives on paper and add music to it that reaches our souls.

Here are a few songs I’ve found helpful in therapy:

1. Alessia Cara “Scars to Your Beautiful” https://youtu.be/MWASeaYuHZo

2. Kelsea Ballerini “Secondhand Smoke” https://youtu.be/fa2ni7GYRiA

3. Kesha “Praying” https://youtu.be/JqvviR15bmE

What songs do you use for therapy?

ANY PROCRASTINATORS OUT THERE?

 

Time management is something I value but also have to work very hard at in my personal life.  I’m great at the important things-the priorities-family life-attending appointments-work.  I struggle when it comes to adding new things that I know will benefit me but are new to me.

Any procrastinators out there?  Typically when someone procrastinates it is because a) you are anxious and unsure of how to do it  b) it’s not important to you or c) you lack desire to do it.  Most of the time when I procrastinate it’s because I have no idea where to start, and therein lies my anxiety and insecurity of whether or not I know what I’m doing.  Why do we always feel we have to know what to do even when it’s brand new to us?  Insert eye roll here…

I’ve been slowly working on improving my site and figuring out exactly how I want it to function.  I’ve put it off at time due to feeling overwhelmed by the multitude of ideas I have for this site.  It’s been stressful to me because I want the content to be useful to you, and I want the information to be accurate and simple to put into practice.  I don’t want to overwhelm you.  Writing is not new to me.  It’s a hobby that I used to have more time for.  It comes naturally.  I really enjoy putting words on paper and watching them flourish into something useful.  And therein lies my biggest fear…will what I’m writing be useful to you?

So as I am working on developing content for my readers out there…those who hopefully haven’t given up on me during this last block of time–cough…cough… (2 months of dead air), I hope you will find it useful and applicable to your life.  I could really use your help in letting me know what you are finding easy to implement into your life and what you need more help with.  I need you to tell me where your struggles are.  And my promise is to work at meeting your needs by posting information on parenting and what to expect for your children/teens at different ages and stages.  I will give you options to apply in your life that will help you feel more in control of your family and yourself.  I will share my own experiences so you can see how it works in a real situation.  I will be real and honest with you because I am a parent too and I know how difficult that job can be.  I will not encourage you to do anything I wouldn’t do with my own children.

Now that I have a purpose in this site, it’s off to my notepad.

NEW RESOURCE ADDED FOR TEEN MOODINESS

Do you sometimes feel like your teen’s mood is unbearable?  You’ve probably heard them say “I can’t help it”…or maybe you’ve thought “she is out of control!” Did you know that we have the ability to control our thoughts?  Our feelings?  And how we react?  Therefore controlling our Moodiness!

Below is a NEW RESOURCE for you to use with your teen to help GAIN CONTROL of your teen’s moodiness!!

Our brain is a very complex organ in our body that controls everything we do.

We can remap how we approach things by making changes to how we think.

In this worksheet, I provide you with instructions on how to walk through your thoughts, feelings, and actions/reactions so your teen can GAIN CONTROL of their mood.  I also provide an example for you!

This tool is developed for teens but can be used by anyone struggling with moodiness.

Download it now  or find it anytime on my Self Help page.

If you need help with your teen, call me at 615-683-1111 for a free 15 minute phone consultation.